Who's Controlling Your Mind?
The value of human relationships goes beyond what our eyes can see. Just as in infancy, we reach out for love and support from those around us. We depend on o relationships to strengthen, survive and thrive. This strength provides a pathway towards the future, helping us define the possibilities.
Just recently, the world came to a complete halt. The CoVID-19 outbreak was an eye-opener to the realities that we once swept under the rug—couples who work long hours seldom saw each other or dealt with these caprices. But now, Parents and children are forced to stay together and deal with their long-forgotten connection.
On a closer look
I have a client who is in a great deal of pain. She has given up on all of her relationships because she feels unseen, unheard, and disrespected. She believes that she’s done everything she can to satisfy others but receives little and often nothing in return. She says, “When it’s my turn for support, no one is there for me.” Have you ever felt this way?
My client’s biggest problem is meeting the constant demands of her mother. Every morning her mom calls with instructions on what she wants to complete for that day. My client feels as though her relationship with her mom consists of a seamless stream of expectations.
What you should know
Some people are proficient at instinctively detecting who among the crowd is a Yes-Man and pray on and take advantage of their kindness. Failing to create boundaries creates a feeling within you of resistance, antagonism, resentment, and desperation.
It’s time to Draw the Line
Rather than becoming resistant, antagonistic, and resentful, it’s time to draw a line around firm boundaries and take the three steps below to bring peace into your life.
1. Trust issues: Feeling as if you’re alone and disrespected, misgivings begin monopolizing your mind creating anger and blame.
FIX: Set boundaries you are willing to maintain firmly. But first, decide on the parameters of your limitations and to what extent you are willing to go before saying no. When you learn to say no, you begin respecting yourself and become more confident in your decision-making processes.
2. Communication issues: As a rational and emotional being, you must be seen, heard and, respected. If any one of these is missing, you will feel unloved.
FIX: Practice active listening skills. Focusing on your willingness to listen will give you a huge advantage. Do not get embroiled in your thoughts. Focus on getting a clear understanding of what the other person is saying. Active listening will keep communications honest and open.
b. When it is your turn to speak, mention the concerns of the other person first. Address them respectfully while maintaining healthy and firm boundaries. In this way, you’ll be able to arrive at a win-win agreement. Communicating to save your relationship is your end goal.
3. Differences in relationship expectations: If you are unhappy and dissatisfied, this is because of unmet expectations. Dwelling on negativity won’t get you to where you want to go.
FIX: First, understand that our mind is a gift. When you feed your mind with well-balanced positive thoughts, it will prudence a much-needed shift toward the goal you want to achieve.
On the other hand, your mind can also be a curse when you allow a persistent negative circuitry to repeat. Sometimes you can get away from the constant badgering of your mind, and that’s when it’s time to learn how to manage your expectations. If all else fails and you need to refocus and rewire your thoughts, nothing beats welcoming an outside perspective. Ask for help.
Remember, everyone wants to be seen, heard, and respected. If your relationships are failing and you feel depressed, get help as soon as you can. Don’t give up on yourself. Keep moving forward and get the help you need to shift your life into one of peace and love.
For Outside Help: Reach out to Dr. Shirlene. Mention this article for a free consultation.
Learn more: https://transformationtreatments.com/
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